I used to operate on other people's approval. I used to think that if I was accepted that I would be happy and there would be no issues in my life. But when I achieved what I felt pleased others, I wasn't happy, not even a little bit. When it came to the way I looked I always wanted to be in tip top shape. I danced my entire life and never had to worry about my weight or even what I ate. As I got older and moved to college I put on the typical freshman 15 and it was a whole new ball game for me. I wanted to lose the weight because I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I knew that to live out my truth these extra lbs weren't a true representation of me.
As I was trying to grow into myself I had a lot of influences as we all do. I had a boyfriend who told me I was eating too much Taco Bell, friends who worked out with me daily and family members who would occasionally make the fat jokes. No matter how someone may try to come off, it's very easy to make a negative impression when it comes to someone else's weight.
I remember going home for summer and thinking I need to work my ass off so I don't go back as the fat roommate. And I did. I purchased INSANITY which I fell in love with and lost all the weight and plus some. But this was a decision I made. I didn't do it because someone told me to. I didn't do it because I was ridiculed into it. I did it for me and only me. No one else reaped the benefits of my fit body other than me, so why should I allow any influences speak my truth?
When it comes to "losing weight" or getting healthier, it all has to start and end with you. If you feel like you've been trying and trying and nothing works, maybe its time to look at your truth. Are you doing it for you? Are you doing it to keep someone's love? Are you doing it to fit in? Maybe in all actuality you are living in a place of fear and you can't grow in that space. It took me a long time to understand why it worked for "that girl" but not me. I would look at pictures of other girls on Instagram and think "they must not have any stress in their lives, because I do and that's why I put on extra weight". Not true. We all have our own struggles, we all lead our own lives. It's how we handle the storms and dance in the rain.
Becoming a healthier you is not a one size fits all. Just like your clothes. We all have different sizes and shapes and that is the beauty of our uniqueness.
So next time you complain about the new diet not working or your workouts sucking, think about it. What are you doing it for? Who are you doing it for? Do you actually value the responses you just gave?