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Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Sarahfina. I am a writer, published author and blogger. Click the picture below to watch some of my work!
Mom, They're Only Boobs
My podcast is here! Three episodes! The support I have received so far is so humbling. Every Thursday, a new episode is released, on various topics. Topics in particular, that we are told maybe we shouldn't talk about. Aka, the more taboo the better! You can find all three episodes on Apple Podcasts, and keep an eye out for what's to come!
Stop Watering Dead Plants
It doesn't matter what it is, if it is no longer serving you, it's okay to walk away.
Whether it's a relationship, job, friendship, ponytail, if it feels too constricting that's your sign. Your red flag blowing in the wind. Just because you want someone in your life, doesn't necessarily mean they have earned a place there. I have struggled with this thought more then ever recently. The quote "stop watering dead plants" repeats in my mind. When I have relationships that seem so one sided. Or feel so draining. Some environments, and people are only meant to be in your life for a purpose, not for permanent.
I think that's a really hard concept to grasp when you're such a people person. When you love to make everyone around you happy, nearly putting yourself in second place. But it's even harder to grasp how you could be so good to some people and it isn't reciprocated. That's when you hit the breaking point. Where you're not sure it's worth it anymore. And maybe it's just easier to throw up your hands and walk away.
I believe that everyone and everything comes into our lives for a reason. You're either a blessing or a lesson, right? The silver-lining in any situation. After a bad breakup you'll constantly hear how you dodged a bullet, how you're so much better off, how they showed you what you truly deserve. And it is true. Everything in life is a learning curve to some extent.
So why do I continuously think "stop watering dead plants"? I keep envisioning myself walking over to my window sill, with a can of water, drenching dead succulents. And I know it makes no sense. That no amount of water will bring them back, yet I do it day after day. And that's exactly what some things in life feel like.
Feeling drained by someone else is exhausting. Being in an environment that is toxic, can really have a massive effect on so many aspects of your life. And as hard as it may be to cut someone off, or to leave that job, to move on, it's just as hard staying. So choose your hard. More times than I'd like to admit, I've held on to things that no longer served me. Relationships, most definitely both romantic and platonic. Jobs I've stayed at longer than I knew I should. I based decisions off of other people's opinions, yet I'm still waiting for those opinions to pay my bills. Happiness comes from within. No one can create it for you. But you can surround yourself with people and places that add value to your happiness. I began to realize, that there were certain people in my world that brought more negativity than positivity. They were more interested in the drama, and the dirt then clapping for my wins. And I just couldn't have that for another minute. It's not like there were any falling outs, hard feelings, or fights. It just simply wouldn't do any longer.
Life can be hard, but it is also beautiful. And how you choose to water yourself and your plants is entirely up to you and how you'll see your beautiful world. Don't let dead plants keep you from planting new ones. Choose your hard, but most of all choose yourself.
Everything Happens For a Reason
"Everything happens for a reason" they say. A saying I've grown up with. A saying I've heard time and time again, as I just barely reach that goal. And as painful as it might feel, it's true. Everything does happen for a reason. What's meant to be yours will always find you. The job, the relationship, the home. Everything you need already lives within you, and that is probably the most calming feeling through any chaos.
When you feel the sting of rejection, you search for anything to make it just an ounce less painful. You fall asleep at night hoping and praying tomorrow will feel even a little bit better. And my favorite part of waking up, is for those first few seconds where you don't realize reality. When you're just coming into the morning, opening your eyes and stretching for a new day. Those are the seconds I hold on to. When I know everything happens for a reason, but I'm not quite sure what that reason is yet. I hold onto those 10 seconds. Those 10 seconds that allows you to be anyone you want to be. Those very few seconds where you can imagine a life that is so pure to your soul, that no sort of reality can amount.
We have to believe that everything happens for a reason. Because if we don't we are lead down this trail of pain and misunderstanding. So many things happen in this world that make no sense. So many things that I cannot wrap my mind around. But believing that things happen the way that they are supposed to, guides us into comfort. "I don't understand I was the best girlfriend and he cheated on me" only to meet the love of your life a year later. "I worked so hard at that job and still got laid off" only to get your dream job months later. "I saved for so long to take this vacation that got cancelled" only to get an upgrade and have an even better experience.
Some days I want to believe it wholeheartedly, like when things are smooth sailing. But when the going gets tough, it's always a challenge to see the bigger picture. Although I can look back and nearly every scenario that felt so tragic, lead me into a direction I wasn't able to create in my own mind.
We all have plans. And sometimes plans don't work out the way we want them to. Or they don't work out because that's the universes way of saying no, this is what you truly want. It's like an unseen guidance that brings us back on our path when we are veering off. Some call it the silver-lining in a bad situation, some call it the higher power, some call it religion. Call it whatever you want, but everything does happen for a reason.
Everyone loves a good how-to, right? But how about this one? How to save when you live paycheck to paycheck. The struggle is real and we have all felt it at some point. I try to make it a habit of posting things like this to be honest with my readers. Life is expensive, but luckily there are some things you can do to make it hurt your pockets a little bit less.
How to save when you live paycheck to paycheck:
-Look at your finances and see what is doable per week, $10? $20? $1?
Put aside same amount weekly, in 6 months time you'll have a nice savings
-Keep the change with CC to create your own savings, effortlessly
-Empty your change wallet into a "piggy bank"
-Look into something you buy frequently and how you can save on this item
-Make coffee at home
-Carpool to save gas
-Download apps to earn money on spending i.e. Ibotta on food shopping, ebates on department stores
-Download savings apps
-Cut back on subscriptions you're not using
-Sell things you don't use/want anymore on Mercari, Let Go, Tradesy
-Shop locally for cheaper prices
-Cook more, eat out less
Have any other ideas? Drop a comment below :)
Have The Conversation
I was recently having a conversation with a friend about being grateful. She was complaining about typical issues we all have and it was getting to be a bit much. It was hard to keep the conversation going because it was much more about poor me, than anything else. I totally get it, we all have our shit. I have days where I just want to complain all day too. But what happens when you begin to complain more than not? What happens when that becomes a daily habit?
You become less grateful, less happy. The world starts to feel so much darker then it did before. It's so easy to get caught up in our everyday chaos. It's easy to allow someone who cut you off on the parkway ruin the next hour of your day. But it's also easy to let it go. No one has power over you, unless you give it to them. If you live by those words, you'd never let another individual make you feel anything less than.
I believe that we all have our stories. Sure some people may have had an easier life than others, but we all go through the mud at some point in our lives. But it's how we choose to perceive it that makes all the difference. When I consistently listened to my friend, it began to make me not want to speak to her. The conversation was filled with so much negativity I had felt like the only thing I could do was distance myself. But the truth is, that isn't helping anyone either. We live in a world where, if the going gets tough we run. There is always a replacement, the newest shiny thing that comes out next. But what about what we already have? Why can't we fix the problem at hand? So I decided not to hide and say something. And the most beautiful thing happened.
I said "it sounds like you're going through a lot, do you want to talk about it?". Her entire mood instantly changed. She did want to talk about it. She needed advice and didn't know how to ask for it, so her approach was complaining until someone asked. No we are not all perfect and maybe that's not how I would have gone about it, but that isn't the point. The point is, we got to talk about what was really bothering her. We got to discuss options on how we can make what she's going through, better. She became grateful for our friendship, grateful that she had someone who was willing to listen and help, and grateful that her problems weren't as bad as they felt.
We're human, sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on. Be that person for those who may need it.
Hey fam! This post is a bit more personal then my typical ones, although let's be honest I'm pretty upfront when it comes to my posts. I love sharing with my followers, which is why it is absolutely imperative that I share with you what's been going on!
About 6 weeks ago I had decided to take the biggest leap of faith and leave my full time job, to do what I love full time. I have spend the last 6 weeks enjoying the freedom of writing and re-building my brand to create this empire I have always dreamt of. While I still love health and fitness, I wanted to broaden my horizons, so to say and develop more of a lifestyle brand. Of course, that will still include health and fitness, but now so much more, too! As I grow with my brand, there will always be new and exciting changes so this is just one of many!
As I roll out two books that I have been working on, I will no longer be offering online programs for meal plans or workouts. But who knows, maybe that will be my third book! Like I said, all this new change is well needed and I could not be more excited! So thank you for following my journey and keep on following! Comment what you'd like to see in my next posts and keep an eye out for my books!
XO - Sarahfina
Let me begin by asking you this, if you don't value yourself enough to do things you love that make you happy, then how do you expect to grow? I mean really think about it. If you can't find the time to give yourself the love and attention that you need, then who truly will? I have spoke a lot about our relationship with ourselves, in previous posts. It is the most important relationship you will have in your life. But if you don't cherish it, you can lose it.
There has always been one thing I could never compromise on. No matter how much money I had to my name, I refused to give it up. Which is what? Getting my nails done. There is nothing I love more then setting aside the time to get a mani. It might sound small or inconsequential but it's monuments to my life. I love the way my hands look after a fresh manicure. I feel clean, I feel refreshed and rebooted. For me, getting my nails done means I get to sit alone quietly for 45 minutes and get pampered. Sometimes I listen to a podcast or music, and sometimes I merely zone out. I have found that in my hectic, busy lifestyle this is one of the only times twice a month where I am sitting completely still. My hands are occupied so I'm not able to be on my phone answering emails or texting. I am literally forced to sit with myself for an hour.
Some people may agree with me that manicures are a time they worship, while others may find it silly. If you find it silly, then I want to know what it is you do that you will absolutely not give up. Maybe its wine night once a month with your girl friends, going golfing with your brother, Monday movie night, something. Anything. We all have something that gives us the feeling of whole-ness. The feeling like we can sit back and relax and not feel the pressures of the world. This is so important when you are on your journey to self growth. To improve yourself you also have to learn when to allow yourself down time.
As I sat in my big comfy chair today, getting my nails done, allowing my mind to wander I realized that this was a form of peace for me. There is nothing more valuable then finding places of peace in our lives. I invite you to make a list of "peace places" in your world. My list is full of places I go when my mind is racing, I need some alone time or I want to focus.
-Sit in starbucks
-Watching a favorite movie in bed
What will your list consist of? Comment below!
You Are Not Alone
Our world's have become so noisy it is easily forgotten the beauty of silence. When are heads are constantly in our phones and out of present conversations, easily life can feel lonely. We live in a world where busy is glorified and to stay stagnent for more than a moment is less than. But if we never stop going, when does it all stop moving?
If you have ever suffered from anxiety, depression, stress then you know what it feels like to live in that world. You know the feeling of going to bed and waking up with the exact same thoughts that kept your mind racing all night. You know the emotions that come along with it, the stress eating, nail biting, hair pulling, mood changing emotions that make you a different person. Our world is telling us to always be on and never shut off. Do you agree?
You may not even realize you're doing it. But when was the last time you did something you absolutely love that didn't involve technology? When was the last time you were outside in nature or sitting around the dinner table with loved ones? No phones, no tablets, no tv's, just being present. Yes we live in a world where all of those things are very much present daily, but it doesn't need to be the only thing we see.
I have often felt it myself when going through a struggle where you feel over looked but your partner, family or friends because Instagram is more important. Or in the middle of an important conversation a text pops up. We are forgetting the fundamentals that makes us human. The fundamentals that keep relationships alive, that keep us thriving for more, and even the very things that keep us inspired to keep moving forward.
Having a healthy mind is just as important has keeping a healthy body. It's not all about lifting weights and eating salad. It most definitely is not. Your body cannot move and grow in the ways you want it to if you aren't also feeding your mental state. You have heard the term "mind, body and soul" probably from a yogi or someone you think is too hippie for your liking. But that is far from true. Mind, body and soul is for all of us. To be able to lose weight you need your mind to be on board. You cannot commit to something without your mental state ready to rumble. You cannot overcome life battling issues unless all of you is all in.
The next time you are out to dinner with friends or in the car with your mom, put your phone down. Put your tablet, laptop aside, lower the television and enjoy each other's company. When everything else falls to the waist side, people and our relationships are all we have left. To be "healthy" is not just getting your nutrients every day, it is so much more. Be proactive in your life and others, and encourage the change. Encourage more time in the present to make the difference in your lives.
My early years of college was when I first became interested in the health and wellness scene. Social media had just become the craze between Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. We were now introduced to a new way of staying connected to other people. My second year of college I got my first gym job at age 19. I absolutely loved it. I loved the people I worked with, I loved the environment and I loved that I was learning so much about a particular industry I didn't know much about.
From working with other trainers I got inspired to get certified as well. Around this same time an opportunity came to me that I felt could be too good to be true. It was called Vemma. For those who aren't familiar Vemma is a health and nutrition company based off of their main product a liquid antioxidant. Vemma stands for Vitamins, essential minerals, mangosteen and aloe vera. At first I kind of thought the whole thing was a hoax. But I liked the fact that a bunch of young adults my age were packed into a restaurant at night, at least interested in hearing what the speakers had to say.
As time went on I became an affiliate and brought some friends along to join the team. Many people will have their opinions on the company as to what it really was (pyramid scheme or not), if they had good ethics or morals. But for me, it was way more then just a part time gig I did with some friends. It became this globalized social vehicle that allowed me to reshape the way I thought and ultimately who I was as a person. In fact we could've been selling elephant shit. The product itself didn't matter. And don't get me wrong having a great product was the cherry on top, but it was so much more than that.
If you knew me at this time I had probably talked about it or tried pitching one of the products to you. I had this gleam in my eye when it came to sharing something I was excited about. I had felt true motivation and passion for something, for the first time in my life.
At a young age we were learning about personal growth. I was reading more books than I ever had in all of my school years combined. I was being introduced to great leaders/thinkers like Bob Proctor, Les Brown and Tony Robbins. I was talking to more people and creating new connections. I was educating myself on health and wellness. I was learning to come out of my shell and not just be the shy, quiet girl. I was making friends that started to become a second family. We were all now a part of the #YPR the Young People Revolution. We were changing the world.
In fact, looking back on my Vemma experience there is very little negativity I have to say about it. Other than maybe the fact that I never got a Vemma BMW (company rank perk) but I survived. I got to travel to different states (New Jersey, Ohio, Las Vegas to name a few) with my friends and talk to other young people about a great opportunity. I made connections with people in different countries through social media interaction and was able to build up my own team. I mean if you had someone like Alex Morton show up to your house for an event, or even get to speak to him on a person phone call you felt like you "made it" in the Vemma world.
A few years after leaving the company I felt like I lost my vision. I had a clear vision at one time of what I wanted out of my life. I knew what I deserved and I wouldn't have it any other way. I had been so inspired to have my own business with life coaching and personal training. I had the mindset that I didn't want to work for anyone else. But as the years progressed the vision got smaller. I wasn't as excited about other job opportunities or as motivated. I had gotten into the mode of just making money to pay my bills and not so much follow my passion.
Why was I so motivated and inspired by other people to grow a business that wasn't even my own? I was pushing to make someone else's dream come to life but I couldn't do that for myself. So, I went back to the basics. I pulled out the books. I opened the old documents and watched the old videos. This time though, it wasn't about Vemma. I watched everything else in the videos. How everyone was so excited, speaking with such passion and educating others. I read the books that spoke about business and sales, personal growth and mental health. I read the documents of step by step tutorials on how to grow your branch. Then it all made sense.
It wasn't the product. It wasn't even the company. It was the people. It was the growth. It was the challenge to learn something new. It was the drive to set a goal and hit it. It was being my own "boss" and learning how to become an entrepreneur. It was creating that environment that made you want to jump out of bed in the morning and tell everyone you knew. It was exactly what I wanted out of a career. It was exactly what I wanted to create for myself. And fast forward almost six years now, I have it.
I'm building my own company with my list of clients growing by the days. I'm creating a life that I am truly passionate about. And best of all, finally living out what truly fulfills me. So I guess thanks, Vemma. Thanks for starting my journey off to the rest of my life.